Call to speak with an alcohol or drug abuse counselor. Who Answers? Reading Time: 5 minutes. It can be hard to admit when someone we care about might be indulging in addictive behavior, especially during the excitement of a new romance or the stability of a long-standing relationship. But if you are concerned that you may be dating an addict, there are a number of signs you can look for to find out if your significant other is abusing drugs or alcohol, or indulging in another type of behavior, to the point of addiction. Many people enjoy getting intoxicated once in a while, but if your significant other is constantly showing signs of drug or alcohol use, there is a possibility they might be addicted. Some of the common signs of intoxication include:.
Dating an addict can be exciting, difficult, and exhausting.
Dating distracts an addict from focusing on recovery. Even if the addict you're in love with is in recovery, dating them may still be a bad idea. Addicts in early recovery often turn to replacement addictions, such as obsessive romantic attachments, in an attempt to fill the void left by drugs or alcohol. Feb 12, Dating a drug addict, as with dating anyone, comes with pros and cons. Con: Lack of trust Drug addicts, even if they have been clean for months or years, are difficult to fatgirlnmotion.com: Tatiana Baez. May 01, The constant inability to perform sexually as the result of their drug or alcohol use; When these signs begin to add up, they create the portrait of an addict, which can be difficult to admit after you have begun dating someone you truly like.
How can you tell if someone truly cares about you when their life is ruled by an addiction to drugs or alcohol? Dating someone with an addiction can be damaging to your wellbeing in a number of profound ways, and you should give serious thought to ending the relationship, both for your sake and theirs.
This is partly because people with substance use disorders tend to deny, hide, and lie about addiction behavior, and partly because being in love with an addict can make it emotionally difficult for you to recognize the problem. You want to see the best in the person you love, you want to believe the lies they tell, and you are likely so confused by their erratic behavior that you have difficulty trusting your own judgement.
Being in love with an addict can make you feel extremely insecure. What is going on behind their upsetting behavior, and what kind of impact is it having on the relationship? Extensive scientific studies of addiction have shown that months or years of chronic substance use creates physical and chemical changes in the brain that perpetuate drug seeking behavior.
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This disruption overstimulates the communication system and causes rapid changes in the brain. The brain reacts in two crucial ways to drugs and alcohol, thereby creating addiction.
What To Do If Your Teen Is Dating A Drug Addict? What are the do's and don'ts when addressing your teenager's dating life? You want the best for your teen - the best education, the best extra-curricular activities, the best friends. And, ahhh yes, the best dating relationships. This is often one of the most significant factors in her overall. Oct 05, The Dos and Don'ts of Dating a Recovering Alcoholic or Addict Written by McCarton Ackerman | last ated 5 October It can come as a surprise when you're dating someone who reveals that they're a recovering drug addict or fatgirlnmotion.com: Mccarton Ackerman.
Second, with repeated use of the substance, the brain begins to adapt to the unnatural events that result from that use, shutting down receptors in the communication system and reducing the amounts of stimulating and pleasurable chemicals produced in an attempt to restore a more natural state of being. As a result, the addict no longer experiences the same high from drinking or using, and is unable to even feel normal without drugs or alcohol.
Their brain function has been altere causing a state of low mood and energy that reinforces the drug-seeking behavior their brain has already been trained to encourage. They cannot think, remember, or learn as well as they once did, and their impulse control, decision making, and ability to think logically have been damaged.
Being in love with an addict can be miserable, but it can also be incredibly exciting.
Addicts have a way of overwhelming you with the intensity of their desire and affection, then turn on a dime and start holding back, becoming distant and unreachable. You are kept continually off guard, feeling the good times all the more deeply in contrast to the bad times.
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You can become addicted to the drama and excitement of the roller coaster ride of dating someone with an addiction. And because you care about this person, you may also desperately want to save them from themselves.
You may feel like if you love them enough or help them in the right way, then you can stay in the good times forever. This could interfere with date nights, social events, and other things.
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You may think you know a lot about addiction and recovery. But the truth is, unless you are an addiction counselor or work with addicts on a regular basis, you probably only know the basics. It can also be beneficial to join a support group for friend s, family members, and partners of addicts.
Also, be aware that even though triggers can fade over time, they are a lifelong problem. This means you will need to be mindful of them during the entire duration of your relationship.
For example, someone being in recovery does not allow them to cut off communication for days or weeks at a time, bail on you, or be unfaithful to you.
Every relationship needs trust, but a little extra dose of trust is needed when dating a recovering addict. If you constantly question your partner about their whereabouts or keep tabs on them, then your relationship will be doomed. Your partner will eventually come to resent you for your lack of trust.
Unless you see major warning signs that your partner is slipping up, you need to maintain an open mind and withhold judgment. But remember, for a relationship to work, things need to be equal.
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Regardless of if your partner is struggling or doing great, you always need to make time to take care of yourself. Make sure you are eating right, sleeping well, exercising, and finding time to enjoy your favorite hobbies. However, while it can be difficult to date a recovering addict, keep in mind that all relationships have their challenges.
If you have any questions or comments about these tips, please let us know in the comments below. Being a loving partner to a recovering addict requires sensitivity and discretion.
If you go to parties or events where alcohol is being served, you may need to leave early or offer additional support. Short of a relapse, there still may be times when they fall into old habits, such as withdrawing from friends and family or telling lies.
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Many recovering addicts have done things in the past that result in a criminal record, making it harder to get a job. They may have accrued significant debt, declared bankruptcy or had other financial problems.
They may still be working out legal issues and trying to earn their way back into the lives of family and friends. Although these are not necessarily deal-breakers, you need to know that their problems can become your problems. In any relationship, setting and enforcing personal boundaries is an essential skill.
There may come a point in the relationship when you need to ask some difficult questions: Why are you attracted to this person? Is it because of who they are and how they treat you, or do you have a history of being attracted to people you can rescue or fix? To avoid codependency, enabling and other problematic patterns, you may need to seek counseling of your own.
Feb 11, Dating a recovering addict can be complicated, but most relationships are. So long as you know what to watch out for, work to ensure you're both getting your needs met . If you believe addiction is a sign of weakness or a character flaw, dating a recovering addict probably isn't for you. Sometimes, if your alarm bells are ringing, there is a good reason. When you are in a relationship with a drug addict, you shouldn't expect the other person to take you as their number one priority. They would take their drug addiction as the top priority. Of course you might say the relationship is a selfish one, but it is the silly price you have to pay to date a drug addict.
If a partner relapses, it can be difficult to know what lines to draw. Dating a recovering addict can be complicated, but most relationships are.
Dealing With Addiction In Your Relationship - How To Deal With An Addicted Partner
David Sack is board certified in psychiatry, addiction psychiatry, and addiction medicine. Or via RSS Feed. Find help or get online counseling now.