Of course he's going to talk to you about her; you're his girlfriend. Four years is a long time, especially when you're young.

She was a big part of his life, and, in one sense, always will be. People always talk about their old flames to new flames whether we really care about that boring-ass bullshit or not.

It's one of those necessary evils of a relationship, like cleaning up your girlfriend's vomit when she drinks too much and yaks in your car. There's a limit, though. You don't say how long ago their relationship ended, but timing is everything. If it just happened within the last six months or so, the wounds are still fresh and it's perfectly normal for him to lick them. If they broke up three years ago and he's still bitching about her, then yeah, not good.

Oversharing is another problem. Most people don't mind discussing exes, but few care to hear every sordid detail of your relationship or personal, private information about your ex that you shouldn't be sharing.

Should you allow your partner to be friends with their Ex?

Also, no one wants to hear you go on and on about your ex being a crazy bitch or whore or asshole or liar or whatever else you like to call them.

However, there are a number of signs to look out for that might indicate your S.

I spoke to couples therapist and relationship expert Tracy K. Ross, LCSW, about the most common red flags to be aware of when it comes to talking to your current partner about their past relationships.

You and your boyfriend can bond over the experience of discussing and commiserating about exes. That said, simple rules of politeness dictate that exes cannot be a constant preoccupation in a relationship, says - fatgirlnmotion.com columnist Margaret Cook in the article, "My Boyfriend Talks About His Ex. Most girls will automatically assume that just because a guy is talking about his ex that he is still in love with her or still wants to be with her. But I don't believe that this is always the case. After long relationships, we tend to look for the same qualities that our ex-boyfriend . Jul 19,   So, if your boyfriend or girlfriend still talks to their ex, I totally get why you might not be percent on board with it. However, it is possible that your partner doesn't have any ulterior Author: Jamie Kravitz.

Here are the top seven. If you feel like your partner is always vague when the subject of their ex is raised, there may be a reason why they aren't telling you the whole truth.

Withholding information can be a big red flagespecially if you've asked your S. Also, if your partner seems either "too interested or uncomfortable when their ex's name comes up in conversation, either when you are with others or when you're alone," that could be a red flag, says Ross.

Trying to play something off like it isn't a big deal often means it is. Especially if your partner's most recent relationship was pretty serious, the way they react to mention of their ex can say a lot about how they truly feel.

This includes making subtle comparisons as well as blatant comparisons, according to Ross. They might also "mention qualities in their ex that you clearly don't have," she says.

Drawing parallels between you and an ex isn't a great sign.

Your boyfriend or girlfriend should love and respect you for who you are, not for how similar or different you are to their ex. After doing some soul searching, I realized my reasons were different for each person.

With the first ex, I still relied on him for emotional support the way I did when we were dating, and seeing him with someone else made me wonder if we could still have as close a relationship. Plus, when I broke up with him, he said he refused to move on and planned to marry me - a promise he obviously couldn't keep, but it planted in the back of my mind the assumption that if I ever had a change of heart, he would be there.

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With the second non ex, I realized there was an ounce of hope lingering in me that maybe we would reunite one day, and seeing that he was no longer available crushed it. I know I'm not alone in feeling devastated over an ex moving on.

A lot of my friends have confessed they've felt the same way, especially when they're forced to find out through social media. Discomfort with an ex publicly pairing up again is also acknowledged in pop culture; after Marnie breaks up with Charlie on Girlsshe obsesses over the other woman she sees in his Facebook photos.

Beaton would advise people who are upset when their exes move on: "Put this person in your past where he belongs, think of what you've learned from the experience, and get busy finding another partner who appreciates you.

Your ex did not get an upgrade. The person they're dating now is not necessarily smarter, more attractive, or kinder than you.

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The fact that you broke up wasn't a failure on your part; things just didn't work out, and they might not work out with this new person either. Your ex moving on is not a testament to your inadequacy. It's the worst when your ex's new significant other is someone you don't even like. It can make you start to question yourself: "If that's what he's into, am I like that?

Dating talks about ex

One person can date two very different people. Comparing yourself to your ex's new partner, whether to wonder if they're better than you or to wonder if they're similar to you, will lead you down the wrong line of reasoning. People don't choose people based on checklists; each person will appeal to someone for a different reason.

Jun 14,   I think, "My ex is dating my friend" is very common, especially if you live in the suburbs, where everyone knows everyone. If you find yourself in this situation, here are some tips on how to handle it and how to keep from going insane: 1. Your ex and "your friend" are the ones who should feel stupid, NOT YOU! Nov 22,   Most people don't mind discussing exes, but few care to hear every sordid detail of your relationship or personal, private information about your ex that you shouldn't be sharing. Also, no one. When a guy talks about his ex to you, it is advisable to speak out instead of waiting out. Remain positive and focus your conversation on the present or future and not his past. Watch out if a man wants to remain in the past, if he pays attention to you, or if he makes you feel special in any way.