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Posted by: Akinolar Posted on: 17.08.2020

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For many, the workplace is a prime opportunity to meet someone you may eventually have a romantic interest in. However, employers may have another opinion on the matter. Many employers see the idea of employees dating one another as potentially threatening productivity or even opening up too much liability for the employer. But can they prohibit it? The employers may fear:. So, can an employer do something about these concerns? Is it legal to fully prohibit employees from dating one another?

May 18,   A: There are numerous ethical issues involved in an owner or CEO or, really, any manager dating an employee. You and your partner need to Author: Gael O'brien. Your Thoughts On Dating An Ex Employee. Ok. I own a restaurant and I have a crush on a former employee. A little about her - She's from Brazil and is 33 years old. She now works at a call center. She worked for me for 4 1/2 years. When she quit a couple of months she told me I was the coolest boss she ever had. About me - 6'2". Dating a Former Employee. Ask Question Asked 1 year, 1 month ago. Active 1 year, 1 month ago. Viewed 31k times 9. I'm a senior, C level executive at a relatively small company (75 employees). A while ago, I became very close to a direct report. We began spending more time together outside of work; first in groups in normal work/social.

If and as we begin dating which could all become moot if it doesn't work for all the reasons relationships don't work out I don't exactly intend to take out an ad, but these things have a way of getting out, and I frequently attend industry events that often include an invitation for a spouse or partner. In many things, you find that you're the only one who thinks to care about these things.

In many other things, you find that everybody cares beyond all rational reason.

This is salacious enough to easily be the latter, though I'm happy to be pleasantly surprised by the former. Marry her while you're at it so people can't talk smack behind your back anymore.

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Because at that point, attacking a colleague's spouse is an HR issue. I dated someone from work at a similar size company who was senior to me although I was not a direct report and she was the level below C-level.

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When we made our relationship public shortly before she left that job we found that almost everyone who had an opinion was really happy for us.

We're married now, and there's no way that the opinion of anyone from that company could ever be more important to me than hers. As long as private matters do not affect job matters, go ahead. The only rule that I know of is: there must be no personal relationship between two people which are hierarchically related i.

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I had several pairs of colleagues which had relationships and some even got married and have children, and everything was fine. In your case, it is the same.

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As long as you are not hierarchically related, make any life decision which you see fit. If your girlfriend changed jobs in order to make things easier for the personal relationship, then it gives you an extra-hint about her intentions. While you may have other reasons for deciding differently, the former work relationship is definitely not an obstacle.

You don't work together any longer and even if you still did then I don't see why your relationship is something to be hidden away or to be ashamed of especially since you indicate that your previous relationships had come to an end. Lots of people meet their future spouses at work, it's normal and I'm almost sure everyone knows someone who met their partner at work.

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You're not her manager any more, you're her partner. Stop overthinking this and worrying what other people will say, it's none of their business. Enjoy your time together! In my experience, the biggest source of rumors and conflict regarding workplace romances comes from the fact that no one except the two individuals involved can tell if the relationship is honest or not.

I've never been quite in your exact situation as a C level, but I am married to someone whom I met while in a director role at a prior employer - we started dating when she was in a junior management role and about to be promoted to a director position. I left the company shortly after. The start of our relationship, her promotion, and my departure were all pretty close together. So I got a little bit of the flavor of "so-and-so is dating someone in upper management and one of the involved parties has left" that you're feeling.

When I say "honest," I mean it in the sense of workplace legitimacy - are the two people in the relationship able to function appropriately in their jobs, despite the personal connection? And because no one really knows this except the people involved, there will be plenty of people who will either make up or at least hint at the worst case scenario especially if you give them reason to, and then the gossip train leaves the station and things get ugly.

Of course, that third point can be easier said than done. For my wife and I, we tried to actively take specific steps related to the workplace ct of our relationship. These steps were not only to allow us to be honest with ourselves that we weren't hiding anything, but also to give us the capability to show or prove that we weren't, if it was ever challenged. A lot of this advice may be "water under the bridge" for you, as she doesn't work for your employer any more, but I think at least some of it will meaningfully translate to your situation.

At least, the "don't hide things" part. For instance, you mention industry events that include an invite for a spouse or partner. My advice: go ahead and bring her. If you're dating, it's likely people will know you're dating. And if people know, and you show up at the Big Industry Dinner without her, people will assume you're trying to hide the relationship.

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You don't want that. People were glad to see me there, and it was no big deal. We took the steam out of any rumors. Meanwhile, a mutual coworker friend of ours, who had also started dating someone from the workplace who'd left in similar timing to me, chose not to bring her to those events.

You can guess which couple was the focus of the rumor mill. In fact, that other couple had a pattern early on of taking steps to try to hide their relationship, despite it being completely legitimate, and I can absolutely tell you it went very poorly and was a huge cause of tension and stress for them.

Most people will have a concern about two co-workers becoming close friends outside work, or dating, for obvious reasons, that it could create unfairness or lack of professional approach at work where the two people's work interacts or they have to work together. Although oddly, if two people are already dating, or a spouse joins a company where their spouse already works, there is often less upset, unless actual unfairness is visible.

But your partner has left their work to avoid any workplace issues, for professionalism. I think most people would respect that, a lot.

Markit north america will fall. Video of a conflict of ways to you are dating between employees, sometimes depict arranged marriages as a woman for eight months, their ex. What does ex-employee since the allowance to forbid employees, creates serious consequences for you say about that the month in , Example: a better job.

A bit like a workplace reunion. If you aren't dating, then if anyone asks, you just need to say "We didn't want to rock the boat, but we wanted to be friends outside work as well, and it didn't feel right for us to both stay at the same company with that. So we talked, and she decided to move to a new job to keep it all on the level.

Jan 07,   Legally speaking, in most states an employer can enact a policy that prohibits employees from dating one another. (Check your state and local laws for exceptions, which do exist and are usually centered on employee privacy or limitations for . Excessive public displays of affection might cause other employees to feel uncomfortable, and there may be a worry that the dating employees may excessively look out for each other over other employees through actions such as prioritizing helping each other with work or . When Dating Crosses the Line to Sexual Harassment. The difficult job of managers, supervisors, and human resource experts is to ensure that consensual dating doesn't end in sexual harassment claims. Some businesses adopt policies against employee fraternization, hoping that prevention will shield them from the risks.

We aren't dating, but at least we can see how our friendship develops without having to worry that we're upsetting anyone. Honestly it seemed more professional to do it that way. But right now all it is, is good friends. If anything happens, I'm sure you'd be one of the first to hear about it, but so far it hasn't, and it may never, so you can skip the gossip : " You might want to broach this yourself, to defuse the risk of gossip, and I would do so if it were me.

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We caught up a few days ago over pizza to chat about work By doing that, you cut all the wind out of any gossip, by telling people straight up what it is. While there's no duty to tell them at all, they have known her and you, they have seen you close, and if anyone ever saw you together it would be natural to assume, which is how gossip starts.

So I'd be proactive but at the same time cut the wind by making clear what's actually happened. After you've told one, or at most 2 people, you can assume everyone will know.

So pick someone to tell who is down to earth and respected, and just mention it in passing "By the way, X sends her regards" over lunch or in office chatter, not as a big topic or "announcement".

That way the version that others hear will be sensible! If you did end up dating, I would go to a company event with her in a while where at least 1 or 2 other people's partners are likely to be attendingand she or you can simply say to anyone who asks, "Yes, we're now dating. We didn't want to rock the boat so I left to a new job.

No idea where it will end up, but its really good seeing you again here! I miss this place! How's it going anyway? My guess is there'll be a bit of curiosity, but you will find almost no buzz or salacious gossip - because you've simply defused it all. It'll simply be accepted within minutes, and by next company event nobody will think twice of it.

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If she's liked at your place, you might even get quite a few comments afterwards saying good on you, or lucky you, or congrats. Maybe a nudge or wink or two if there's alcohol at the event, because there's always one person who will act up that way at anything to do with relationships. Which is also probably a good thing. Realize that people will talk no matter what.

I once took up with a coworker not a hierarchical relationship in any way after we worked together I liked the dashing way she quit :- and for over two years my manager tried over and over again to make us confess that the relationship had started while we were all working there.

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He never stopped, we just dropped all away eventually. So what I'm trying to say is you can't win whether you wait or not. If I were you I would wait a couple months after she leaves, then just make it public in a very matter of fact way, like bring her to a spouse-included party or after-work drinks and act like it was understood all along. If anyone works up the nerve to ask, confirm that yes, you met at work, and that's partly why she's now working elsewhere.

Don't give any further details. It'll all die down soon enough once you're out in the open. As I see it, there is no real need for you to approach this topic at your workplace at all. In any case, I'd say the best way to do it is an email where you simply describe what happened, similar to how you did it here a bit more briefly. You say people at your work had already noticed and commented in the past, although you "cooled it" since then. So they are not likely to be surprised, and are very likely to assume your relationship continued from then till now as it did, just not in an inappropriate way.

That perception is not going to change if you wait a month or two. So I would suggest going the other way instead. Mention it to the mutual friends in the company and say how happy you are that you are no longer working together and can now start dating.

That way, you are reinforcing that you were not dating while you were working together and were behaving professionally. The one thing I wouldn't mention was any suggestion that you girlfriend changed jobs partly so you could - I would emphasize the step-up as you have in comments here.

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Hopefully, if there are any other comments in the workplace your friends will be able to set them straight. She's at a different company now.

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She's not your direct report anymore, nor even is she your coworker at all. She is just another person, outside your work environment, and she should be treated as such. Which is to say, if you met someone outside of work in any other social situation, you'd go for it right? So this shouldn't be different. Just go for it! If people in your company start talking, then whatever. What are they going to say? Check your state and local laws for exceptions, which do exist and are usually centered on employee privacy or limitations for employers on prohibiting nonwork activities.

However, even if legal, banning any work romantic involvement can come with its own consequences.

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Many people meet at work before beginning a romantic relationship. Prohibiting it could decrease morale and could even result in losing employees who wish to date coworkers but cannot. In practical terms, it can be incredibly difficult to enforce, too. That would be discriminatory. Be sure to check your local and state laws and consult legal counsel when necessary.

Bridget Miller is a business consultant with a specialized MBA in International Economics and Management, which provides a unique perspective on business challenges. The employers may fear: Productivity losses. These could occur if there is too much time spent on personal pursuits rather than work. There could also be problems if the relationship becomes a distraction for other employees in any way.

Security issues. This may be a concern if a personal romantic dispute becomes violent. This is especially a risk if one of the partners is in a supervisory position or otherwise can grant favors for the other.

IN some areas, sexual favoritism is also illegal or could be deemed discriminatory.

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Retaliatory behavior. If the relationship goes sour, one partner or both may not be inclined to work cooperatively with the other.

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If escalated, it could even become a situation in which one former partner has the ability to demote, terminate, or give negative reviews to the other-all of which could lead to problems including lawsuits. Sexual assault or harassment charges. If dating is allowed, it may foster an environment where more activity occurs that could give rise to a harassment claim. For example, if someone in a supervisory position requests dates as a prerequisite for positive performance reviews, that would be sexual harassment.

Additionally, if a regular relationship ends, it could result in a situation where one former partner has a claim of harassment against the other. Even regular relationship activities can create an atmosphere that promotes harassment of others.



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