When I was a teenager, I made the brief mistake of dating an unbeliever. I was sure about my faith in Jesus Christ, but the attraction of a girl I met at school melted my resolve. Fortunately this foolish mistake did not last more than a few dates because my mother wrote me a lengthy letter explaining the error of my ways. I read it and immediately heeded her biblical counsel. I met Susie in Bible college in and we married in The last 25 years has taught us how crucial spiritual compatibility is. That is why we are often burdened when Christians choose to date unbelievers, and we are doubly perplexed when Christian parents remain silent.
Good dating an unbeliever consider, that
Indeed, the dating process helps confirm or discourage your desire to marry a particular person. But it does mean that you must protect the physical, emotional, and spiritual purity of the one you are dating during the entire course of your relationship.
To engage in physical intimacy before marriage is to defraud each other sexually, and to cultivate romantic feelings toward each other without the express purpose of marriage is to defraud one another emotionally and spiritually see 1 Thess. If dating is meant to lead to marriage, therefore, it would seem that dating an unbeliever is, if not directly disobedient, at least incredibly foolish.
But we might be getting a little ahead of ourselves here. In order to answer the question not directly addressed in Scripture can a believer date an unbeliever?
By examining why a Christian cannot marry a non-Christian, it will become increasingly clear, I believe, why dating an unbeliever is not only unwise but probably an act of disobedience, even if Scripture never specifically forbids it. The first reason why believers cannot marry unbelievers is that the Bible forbids it.
Something is. dating an unbeliever very valuable
There are two primary New Testament texts that speak to the issue of marriage between a believer and an unbeliever. The principle in this text is that where legitimate marriage can occur-the believer has never married, or they are released from their previous marriage by the death of a spouse-it can only occur between two believers. Like coupling two animals who are incompatible in strength, size, weight, and plowing skill, there will be constant friction, frustration, and futility for two people who enter into marriage with foundational spiritual differences.
But Paul is also interested in underscoring the folly of this kind of partnership.
With a blistering volley of rhetorical questions, the apostle undermines any hope that genuine intimacy-the kind of intimacy that married couples are intended to share-can exist between a believer and unbeliever. Paul asks. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial?
Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? What agreement has the temple of God with idols? The answer to each question is obvious. There can be, by definition, no partnership, fellowship, or portion between righteousness and lawlessness, light and darkness, Christ and Belial, a believer and unbeliever. Of course, Paul does not mean that believers are to have no relationship whatsoever with unbelievers.
Useful dating an unbeliever understood that
For the sake of the gospel and out of love for our neighbor we must have relationships with those who do not know Christ see especially 1 Cor. For a Christian to enter into marriage with an unbeliever, therefore, is not only an act of disobedience against their Lord, but it is also foolish.
When a person becomes a Christian, they actually become a new person, and an ontological, irreversible change occurs at the deepest level of who they are 2 Cor. You are in the Spirit; they are in the flesh Rom.
You are a slave to righteousness; they are a slave to sin Rom. You are led by the Spirit; they are led by the god of this world Rom.
Dating an unbeliever
You are alive in Christ; they are dead in sin Eph. These passages have broad application beyond marriage, but since dating leads to marriage and there is no greater human friendship or yoking than marriage, Christians should only date maturing Christians.
As with any sin, there are multiple-albeit unoriginal-excuses that believers offer to justify this behaviour. They include:. These excuses all serve two purposes: to justify blatant disobedience to God, and reveal several personal flaws. I cannot imagine how different my life would be had I continued my wayward path so many years ago.
I would have denied myself a godly marriage, godly children, ample opportunities to glorify God, and a life of peace. Excuses Galore! What agreement has the temple of God with idols?
So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. You shall not intermarry with them, giving your daughters to their sons or taking their daughters for your sons, for they would turn away your sons from following me, to serve other gods.
Then the anger of the Lord would be kindled against you, and he would destroy you quickly.
Realize, dating an unbeliever remarkable
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
Should I Date an Unbeliever? - Ask the Briscoes
A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God.
The choice to date an unbeliever is an act of rebellion. God has commanded us not to date unbelievers, but if you say it's okay-you've already stepped away from God!" It's heartbreaking to see, but people who profess to love the Lord can turn away from God. Among the top reasons is that they date someone who isn't following Jesus. May 04, My wife began dating me as an unbeliever. But as much as I love her and our marriage, it was wrong for her to do so. While God was gracious to us, and brought me to a saving knowledge of Christ prior to our wedding date, let me be clear: to marry an unbeliever is to sin against God (1 Corinthians ). I think one can have a friendship relationship with an unbeliever of the opposite sex, without entering into a dating relationship. Within the context of a friendship relationship, the Gospel can surely be shared. I would raise another set of standards, which are given to us in the Book of Proverbs.
But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. You adulterous people!
Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Samson went to Gaza, and there he saw a prostitute, and he went in to her.
Months. Christian Singles Dating Unbelievers. January 18, Oasis Church NJ. Christian Singles Articles, Christian Singles Soapbox. If you are one of the many Christian singlesdating unbelievers, save yourself additional troubles by getting out of the dating relationshipas soon as possible. At the very least, the vast majority of Christians who date unbelievers or unsaved singles experience loss of sexual . May 29, Nevertheless, they believe they can move down this path because (1) the Bible does not forbid dating an unbeliever; (2) their romantic relationship can serve as a means of evangelism to the unbelieving boyfriend or girlfriend; (3) their situation is unique; or (4) a combination exists of some or all of the above. When I was a teenager, I made the brief mistake of dating an unbeliever. I was sure about my faith in Jesus Christ, but the attraction of a girl I met at school melted my resolve. Fortunately this foolish mistake did not last more than a few dates because my mother wrote me a lengthy letter explaining the error of my ways.
After this he loved a woman in the Valley of Sorek, whose name was Delilah. And we will each give you 1, pieces of silver. Therefore go out from their midst, and be separate from them, says the Lord, and touch no unclean thing; then I will welcome you, and I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty.
Therefore do not give your daughters to their sons, neither take their daughters for your sons, and never seek their peace or prosperity, that you may be strong and eat the good of the land and leave it for an inheritance to your children forever. For when Solomon was old his wives turned away his heart after other gods, and his heart was not wholly true to the Lord his God, as was the heart of David his father.
You shall not intermarry with them, giving your daughters to their sons or taking their daughters for your sons. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.
It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. To the rest I say I, not the Lord that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him.
For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband.
Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so.