Officers have beaten members of the public, planted evidence and used their badges to harass women. They have lied, stolen, dealt drugs, driven drunk and abused their spouses. Despite their role as public servants, the men and women who swear an oath to keep communities safe can generally avoid public scrutiny for their misdeeds. The records of their misconduct are filed away, rarely seen by anyone outside their departments. Among the findings:. The level of oversight varies widely from state to state. Meet the new police chief.
Remarkable, rather bad things about dating a cop suggest
I have known a wife that was Deputy Chief and husband was a Sergeant and they been happily married for over 30 years and than I have known many officers that have been married 3,4,5 and 6 times. Thanks for listening. Your comment makes me think of a DMB song called Bartender because after reading your comment I need a stiff one.
Ok your one for three. First many cops become cops way to young. Many use status of being an officer to seek a partner, which brings out the badge-bunnys who move from cop to cop destroying all in their path.
Second, to many cops fall in love and get married to the first and only partner they sleep with. Later finding out that they should have learned about life and relationships first.
Lastly, some but not all cops are horrible with money decisions.
Cops who start later in life or are married going into the profession seem to fair better. Also cops who were successful at another profession before police work also fair better with money and relationships. Sorry for all the generalizations, but these are based on 30 years of observations from the inside.
First off Jim, the Salty One has never been one for three at anything. I agree that the older a man is when he becomes a LEO and having been successful at something else prior to joining the force are spot on.
My guy is retired now after 25 yrs. Last 15 in homicide.
Opinion bad things about dating a cop think
We are also partners in a successful business. I knew what was going on. We lasted because we talked about everything. Nothing was off limits. I also had the flexibility to adjust my work schedule to his.
We are all human beings with feelings. Been married to my Leo for 19 yrs. There are days I can see the man I fell in love with and days I could just strangle him. I do know I love him but hate the damn job!
At year number 7 he started showing the abusive signs which he promised to get help for and never did and I allowed him to get away with not following thru. At year number nine both the alcoholism and abusive nature surfaced again this time it escalated and I was cut, dumb me stood by my man like most victims of domestic violence refused to cooperate with the state I was a DA Invhe is a Training Coordinator at HIDTA retired DEA18 months later he knocked me out, I again did not call the police because he was out on bond.
I put it off as he was dealing with a lot, a drug addicted son, his daughters not wanting him to have a relationship w his grandkids because of his drinking, and cancer we separated after the knock out, got back together to see him through cancer treatment, I lost my job because of the pending case.
The narcissist dragged the divorce for two years. I learned the hard way. Well I guess I am one of the square pegs that will rant about how great my cop marriage is. My Leo is a great cop but she is also a great mom and wife. She works on her departments SVU task force and trust me there are days that are really tuff for her but she leaves work at the door step and I think that is key.
She is a great with communication and we always talk things out. Her job is tuff.
Can bad things about dating a cop were not mistaken
I thank as I believe it is for all Leos. People just fail each other and their marriage!
Bad Things About Dating A Cop de Bad Things About Dating A Cop personnes interessantes pour des rencontres, Bad Things About Dating A Cop qui vous recherchent et qui ont le meme but que Bad Things About Dating A Cop vous sur internet: trouver l'amour, le / 1. Cops suck at showing their feelings. The only feelings that cops are good at showing are disdain for human kind. And I mean every human. They see bad people doing really bad and despicable things to each other. We are good at hating everyone but us. Oh, and we hate management. Bad Things About Dating A Cop, tubely dating site, persona 4 dating yosuke, wso dating. Beaune, Cote-d'Or, Bourgogne. Une femme simple, independante, mature. Qui demande qu'a etre aimer.
No matter what the job you both know what you are getting into when you meet,date and marry. Yes I know every situation is different but you get out of it what you put into it.
Sorry for the long rant but I love my Leo and love and respect all the rest! Be safe out there. Salty, you are salty indeed. My husband is one of those really kind quiet men that old ladies love to hug and tell me how lucky I am. We were married before here went into LE, and talked a lot about our commitment to each other and how we would be one of the strong couples that stay together.
As a police officer, it's hard not to have a superiority complex. You take a year-old male, you give him a uniform, a gun, pepper spray, a Taser, a nightstick. On an individual basis, we have. Arriver a la moiti de ma vie la vie m'a beaucoup appris Donc je sais ce que Bad Things About Dating A Cop je veux et ce que Bad Things About Dating A Cop je souhaite surtout plus Je suis convaincu que ma moiti existe vraiment Homme derrire un faux profil passer votre chemin FAUX PROFIL VOUS FAITES CHIER Je ne sais pas pourquoi d'un coup les femmes me rendent visite je n'ai pas virer ma cuti / Jul 09, 5 Things You Must Know About Dating a Cop Then you must know that a relationship with one is slightly [ ].
When year 5 hit, things started getting hard and to save both of us from hearing about the horrible things he was responding to he stopped talking altogether. I was dragging things out of him and our 11 year marriage was starting to weaken. By year 10 we were both So miserable and started to explore ideas to change that. He decided to quit LE. I felt like it was very hard to get out. He had a lot of other law enforcement officers tell him how jealous they were of him and wondered what it was like on the other side.
It took a couple of years to get the next stage figured out but we are now both making quite a bit more than we were trying to handle his law enforcement career and we are both a heck of a lot happier.
I try not to take it personally because as a 21 year non-promotable much of his stress and disdain comes from his admin and not me. My father was a cop for 36 years and is still married to my mother for more than 50 years. I followed him and worked for the same department. When I started dating my wife I told her that I was going to be a cop. She put up with my call outs, being gone for weeks for riots, natural disasters and what ever.
Being from a Law Enforcement Family. I knew when my then fiance told me he wanted to be an LEO! It is difficult! When they do, You have to demand their attention and that they open up! He always jokes that you have to marry a woman with 5 brothers and no sisters to be happy! No, I just understand the stress of the job and that he needs to be redirected to be focused on what is important!
Married my cop before he got the job, but when we met was well aware that he wanted to be an officer. Was with him when he went through the academy. A lot of this sounds like being a night shift nurse too, which I am. Unfortunately, I have seen the reverse happen, too. Major moves like a job switch have consequences that are sometimes overlooked.
In a relationship with one for a yearhe was the best at communicating in the beginning. After our first fight he started to become closed feeling toward me. This article was great and gave me a different perspective.
Any 2nd or 3rd wives out there with advise?!? Not sure I agree with the premise. If cops suck at marriage, then why are we always getting married? At least were better than the firefighters at something! Gilmartin I believe. He is a retired officer that gives a good insight on an officers daily dealings and how to cope and coexist together.
And all the other stuff that classified me as an arsehole my term not the families. I did 32 years and they were behind me all the way. I read this article and I do see some of what you say. There are police officers exactly like the examples above noted. I started in policing at 25 years of age. We have 2 kids together. I seen a ton of deaths including 30 plus infant and children deaths. I am diagnosed with PTSD and had drinking issues in my past.
I made the decision to put my family first. Sure we have had our ups and downs but we have worked on our problems. As for finances, I always been good with finances and will retire quite comfortably in 10 years still have my pension on top of this. I think this article references the older generation of coppers who focused solely on the job. I started with a lot of these guys and saw a lot of divorces. When my generation started, i saw a change in the way police officers look at policing.
I know some may not agree with me but it has served me well for 20 years. Just celebrated our 25th anniversary on the 3rd. The night I met my hubby he said he was going to be a cop and if I had a problem with it I should walk away right thenlol! I was 18 he was 19, we married 2 years later, he went to academy 2 years after that. I think that being there through the difficult challenge of academy 7 mos away helping him study when he was home and the fact that we waited 9 years to have our first child helped a lot.
We grew together in his new profession and we talked a lot without distractions and added stress of child raising. I was used to the crazy hours and time away from home before we brought 3 amazing kids into it all.
He promoted to sgt a few years back and was gone again for 27 monthseasy? Retirement is just 4 short years away! Number 3 just crashed in flames around me. I keep trying to save people.
I readily admit to locking all feelings away, all weakness away, and never having a serious discussion, never admitting hurt, and always putting on the brave face. Destined to kill any relationship. Been married to my LEO husband for close to 27 years.
Same with me Amygoing thru D 3 right now. I tried with all of them, but takes two to tango. You are not alone. On marriage 3. Thank God that no kids are involved. My wife and I are old school Christians who both waited till our wedding night to have coitus. CRAZY, right? I dont think so! We are simply used to living a life of commitment to God and to each other. We strive to make things work. We have our struggles, but we are both open to counseling and communicate with each other, but also give each other space when needed.
Marriage certainly takes a team effort and two to tango. I would never tell someone to hold on to a spouse that has cheated without remorse. But, forgiveness should always be your go-to and try to find redemption, if not for your marriage then for yourself. Salty made great points about the struggles and i would plead with everyone to seek counselling when your marriage has struggles.
You all really are the Super heroes of today.
But there is something about dating in the era of Tinder, Bumble, and ghosting that makes it feel like, no matter how bad things were before, you definitely have it worse. In a recent thread, people discussed the modern dating norms they absolutely can't stand - and, if you've been on a dating app recently, chances are pretty good that Author: Sara Hendricks. Apr 24, Tarnished Brass We found 85, cops who've been investigated for misconduct. Now you can read their records. In , USA TODAY led a . Dec 30, If Starbucks didn't correct its behavior it would suffer the loss of customers because people wouldn't pay someone to be treated in that manner. Discussion from PoliceOne Facebook page. The second reason police are bad is because they lie - a lot - even to themselves.
I was a Military wife before he swapped to LEO. Remember when they want to tell you all those stories, be supportive and just listen.
They need that. Very well said. The silent support as my husband puts it. I married a cop and I say that is why we work well.
Many relationships fail because of the changes that one goes through when leaving home for weeks. I actually thankful I missed that time in his life. You forgot the one positive of being married to a LEO after being married for 18 years we are still like newlyweds since I have only seen him about 3 years total in that 18 years? Interesting article, since I can remember, as a little boy, I said I would never marry.
I didnt flirt, suck, or fuck my way through my or any other dept.
OR try to be better then any dude. I was forced into medical retirement We got married after I got hurt, but not being able to do reg newlywed stuff like go out to dinner OR have kick ass sex because it would caused my nerves leading to my ladyparts to go ape shit, wellit wears on ya. Thank God I listened to my gut, but it cost me. Point is, depends on the people. Married to my own salty sarge for 23 years and we dated for 3 years before that.
Sadly we are the exception in law enforcement. He has 23 years on the job so we are counting down the time to retirement. I guess my hubs and I are an exception to the rule. We met when we were both in Law enforcement. Became good friends, and it just went from there. We are on 22 years together and just as crazy fun as we always were. We bounced the job off each other, and for us it worked.
We had someplace to let it out, and someone who understood us perfectly. But we work at it, just like everybody else. All the other things like late shifts, not home on holidays are easy to deal with, but the above quote is exactly why a lot of marriages fail, police officers or not.
My future ex is PD, and had this mentality. Plus emotional and mental abuse. He refused to see he did anything wrong ever. That is why our marriage failed. God bless my husband, for learning to deal with these traits, plus a variety of others. Including a wicked morbid sense of humor, and the ability never to lose my appetite, no matter the dinner conversation.
My husband has always worked nights. He is also in Srt. I think the best thing is he talks to me. We are friends. Great article. Raised by and married to Blue, Homicide Sgt 16yrs now. The only way we have been able to make it is communication.
I totally feel blessed. My ex-partner is a police officer. Because no one is perfect. The most ugly sides for their partners are a lifetime damaged from within that we are blaming ourselves, feel worthless that we will never be good enough to them and to our future partners, and without any warnings those silent treatments turned to domestic violence.
Bad things about dating a cop
If anyone can related to this, either you are the victims or the cops, either you agreed or not to my opinion. In the end of the day, we all can help to make this world a better place, without wearing any uniforms, without abuse the power. And that should starts from our home, instead of out there. I guess I got lucky.
Seven Things Why You Should Date a Police Officer
I met my LEO just after he came of of FTO and was starting into the field myself, and I have to say everything that is mentioned is true. We were also both in our early 20s and I had to learn that the relationship was NOT the same as a normal one and he had to learn to let me in. It took us a long time to get the hang of a routine and we have to be ok with seeing each other in passing some weeks.
There is always something to learn, there are always boundaries to draw, and situations neither can control. There are some harsh realities that both people face when one of you is an officer, you just have to be willing to accept and work through them. Tks for the article. My marriage is in the shitter. Is it really my fault?
Took care of kid 1 and kid 2 once Home for overnight needs. Then in the am. Then to the sitter, later daycare. Learned to fix house all in the middle of it and never rested. After retiring, oldest gets type 1 diagnoses.
Labour. bad things about dating a cop apologise, but, opinion
Worked all these weekends, nights, holidays, birthdaysname it. The other half always had them all off as a teacher. Always came home to babies screaming into monitor. I get sick when I see this shit posted.
Fuck your post. It applies to a small minority. There is a serious lack of customer service that is supposed to accompany the good or service being provided by police. All the while, they demand your compliance which, if not given, can be deadly and claim to keep you safe. In what other business or ct of life can you talk down to, violate, search property and demand compliance and respect from people who help pay your salary?
The customer would be apologized to and most likely compensated for their troubles. The second reason police are bad is because they lie - a lot - even to themselves. The police claim it is their job to keep you safe and they risk their lives doing this. This is a lie. First, police have never and will never keep anyone safe. It is not their legal responsibility and courts have ruled in favor of this.
A quick look at the comments on PoliceOne. The common defense for such police behavior is because they risk their lives for us - even though a police officer fails to make the ten most dangerous jobs list and the police always carry guns, unlike most people they encounter. Police routinely fine or jail, at taxpayer expense, people whose crimes lack an actual victim.